If you go into a cave, you're going to find a bear...
It's a theory I learned from a psychologist years ago and a principle I've applied to many of my life choices. I've applied it to overcoming my drug addiction and alcohol abuse. It's also something I've often used to help others understand what it takes to overcome addiction.
Basically, it means if you go to the places your addiction lived, if you hangout with the people you drank with etc... You'll find your cravings come rushing back, even if you've been clean for awhile. For some, they won't even THINK about wanting a cigarette until they are driving the stretch of road where they'd have their pre-work smoke.
For me, I had to leave, move out of the city where my drug networks existed! It was a huge change, but my life is better for it. Had I stayed, I'd be dead.
It hurt to leave, it hurt to go away from all that I had come to know, it physically hurt to become sober. Cocaine withdrawal made for a rough month. But after that month, the clouds parted. The chemicals were out of my system and my eyes adjusted to the light outside of the cave. But the adjustment hurt.
On this journey I'm on, pain is always present on some level! Progress is never without pain. My most recent pain is something called saddle sore...
Every time I ride, I get sore and swollen on my right Ischial Tuberosity... I say Ischial Tuberosity because it sound a whole lot better than "My butt hurts."
It happens because of several factors. Some, in my case, include friction with the seat, bike seat position (bike fit) and having a big butt...
I ride and it hurts. I adjust how I sit trying to find comfort. I don't quit. In any change we make, we adjust whats not working to find comfort, or a better way of doing things.
You don't throw away the marriage because it's not as comfortable as it once was. You talk. You work together to heal the broken thing.
You don't quit training because your butt hurts. You adjust until it stops hurting. You try new things because if you keep things the same, you enter the cave and find a bear.
Today, I found comfort on my bike seat! I don't know if it's permanent, but theres hope. Hope includes setbacks, but no matter what change we are making, no matter the goal, when we get a glimpse of hope, we should rejoice.
It means we aren't struggling in vain! It re-introduces purpose. It reminds us someday, our butts will stop hurting!!
We must give ourselves credit for the victories, even the small ones. We must do so with such vigor that when the failures come and they will come, we can laugh them off, learn from them and try again... and again.
Tuesday, July 14, 2015
Tuesday, July 7, 2015
Welcome Home
Sooooo last post I mentioned I was about to enter into my first post Flat Lands workout, where I saw my mile time shrink by 35 seconds! The thought of giving up that kind of progress was very hard to get over! Hard to get excited and get out and run the hills again! But I did it!
Appropriately, this day was a day of severe weather... There I stood, gazing out the window waiting for a break in the clouds, waiting for the tornado watch to be lifted, waiting to seize my moment to claim victory over the odds and maintain my flat lands mile pace!
The moment came between storms and I ran. A quarter of the way into the run it rained again, which was nice. It both cooled my temperature and served as a metaphor for what was happening in my mind as I struggled through the realization that my time, gonna be not so good!
During the run I told myself, just finish with split times in the 9 minute range. Sub 10 minute miles and we'll call it a win! So I kept on my course.
In an earlier post I mentioned how we fail to enjoy and rest in the down side of the hill. I want to amend that concept with a new realization I had today. I was running down the same hill, telling myself to catch my breath and get ready for the next hill. I found myself forgetting to keep running.
I laid back, slowed down and began to forget I still needed to run. When we get in an easy seasons in our lives, we can tend to stop running. We enjoy the rest TO much and stop strengthening ourselves, improving ourselves for the next rough season.
If I'm not getting stronger when I'm not being tested, how could I ever expect to have strength for when I am?
So I RAN down the hill. I ran up the hill and I didn't stop running until the end of my race. I felt so slow at times, I felt so tired at times, but I told myself no matter what I feel, I'm going to keep trying, keep pushing! I made it!
When I was finished, I pulled out my phone, where I keep track of my workouts and prepared myself. I reminded myself to celebrate any number but to be elated if I was in the 9's for my split times. In Wisconsin, I improved my time to 9 minute 16 second miles. On my first run back in Kentucky, My average mile was 8 minutes and 37 seconds! My splits kept getting faster as I ran! my last half mile I ran at a pace of an 8 minute 14 second mile. I was blown away. I was knocking on the door of the 7's!
consistant 7 minute miles for my run is my goal. For the first time since I started, I believe that goal is within reach before September.
We can't give up. It may be hard, but that break through is around the corner. Who knows how long the tunnel will last, but the only way it will never end is if we stop walking.
I felt like quitting my run because it hurt and made me feel weak. It was because I didn't think I could run as fast as I did on vacation. If I would have quit, I would have never known I was actively putting down my best run time since I started! I wouldn't have known! That blows my mind!
I remembered to run down the hill. I remembered to push myself when it was easy and because I didn't coast, the hill didn't break me. The run was hard, but it didn't break me. It turned out the run was hard because I was pushing myself harder than ever before!
Sometimes we don't have the benefit of perspective. All we can do is push.
Appropriately, this day was a day of severe weather... There I stood, gazing out the window waiting for a break in the clouds, waiting for the tornado watch to be lifted, waiting to seize my moment to claim victory over the odds and maintain my flat lands mile pace!
The moment came between storms and I ran. A quarter of the way into the run it rained again, which was nice. It both cooled my temperature and served as a metaphor for what was happening in my mind as I struggled through the realization that my time, gonna be not so good!
During the run I told myself, just finish with split times in the 9 minute range. Sub 10 minute miles and we'll call it a win! So I kept on my course.
In an earlier post I mentioned how we fail to enjoy and rest in the down side of the hill. I want to amend that concept with a new realization I had today. I was running down the same hill, telling myself to catch my breath and get ready for the next hill. I found myself forgetting to keep running.
I laid back, slowed down and began to forget I still needed to run. When we get in an easy seasons in our lives, we can tend to stop running. We enjoy the rest TO much and stop strengthening ourselves, improving ourselves for the next rough season.
If I'm not getting stronger when I'm not being tested, how could I ever expect to have strength for when I am?
So I RAN down the hill. I ran up the hill and I didn't stop running until the end of my race. I felt so slow at times, I felt so tired at times, but I told myself no matter what I feel, I'm going to keep trying, keep pushing! I made it!
When I was finished, I pulled out my phone, where I keep track of my workouts and prepared myself. I reminded myself to celebrate any number but to be elated if I was in the 9's for my split times. In Wisconsin, I improved my time to 9 minute 16 second miles. On my first run back in Kentucky, My average mile was 8 minutes and 37 seconds! My splits kept getting faster as I ran! my last half mile I ran at a pace of an 8 minute 14 second mile. I was blown away. I was knocking on the door of the 7's!
consistant 7 minute miles for my run is my goal. For the first time since I started, I believe that goal is within reach before September.
We can't give up. It may be hard, but that break through is around the corner. Who knows how long the tunnel will last, but the only way it will never end is if we stop walking.
I felt like quitting my run because it hurt and made me feel weak. It was because I didn't think I could run as fast as I did on vacation. If I would have quit, I would have never known I was actively putting down my best run time since I started! I wouldn't have known! That blows my mind!
I remembered to run down the hill. I remembered to push myself when it was easy and because I didn't coast, the hill didn't break me. The run was hard, but it didn't break me. It turned out the run was hard because I was pushing myself harder than ever before!
Sometimes we don't have the benefit of perspective. All we can do is push.
Friday, July 3, 2015
Vacation
We just got back from vacation in Wisconsin. Going into the vacation we were so excited! The only thing I was concerned about was wether or not I could keep up with my training. See, since family members live in Wisconsin, Arkansas and Kentucky, it makes getting together for EVERY holiday hard. So this was our Thanksgiving trip!
I've never been one to continue anything except gluttony on vacation. I give myself the 5 pound weight gain pass. Its ok! Its a vacation right?!? Well this time was the first time I entered into a vacation with long term goals. Goals which even a short term lapse would interfere with.
We shopped before leaving and packed all the food into a cooler and brought it with. When we were in Wisconsin, my mom was gracious enough to pick up the tab on the next grocery trip, provide we cooked and she could have some :) Side note... She is so funny. She buys us food and asks if she can have some. As if we'd have any reason to deny her... Her food! I love her!
So we have the diet figured out. Eating good, eating small portions and drinking a lot of water. Lets workout.
I'm so lucky to have a supportive wife. She gives me the time to get out and train. She understands the greater implication of this journey. She realizes its more than simply physical. Change is happening. Also, she's not opposed to me getting super fit with six-pack abs!
I got out and ran a few times to start and on one day while we were home I ran 3.1 miles (a 5K) to the park, then went to the pool for a swim. I don't know how far I swam, I just kept going back a forth until I felt like I didn't have anymore to give.
I've never been one to continue anything except gluttony on vacation. I give myself the 5 pound weight gain pass. Its ok! Its a vacation right?!? Well this time was the first time I entered into a vacation with long term goals. Goals which even a short term lapse would interfere with.
We shopped before leaving and packed all the food into a cooler and brought it with. When we were in Wisconsin, my mom was gracious enough to pick up the tab on the next grocery trip, provide we cooked and she could have some :) Side note... She is so funny. She buys us food and asks if she can have some. As if we'd have any reason to deny her... Her food! I love her!
So we have the diet figured out. Eating good, eating small portions and drinking a lot of water. Lets workout.
I'm so lucky to have a supportive wife. She gives me the time to get out and train. She understands the greater implication of this journey. She realizes its more than simply physical. Change is happening. Also, she's not opposed to me getting super fit with six-pack abs!
I got out and ran a few times to start and on one day while we were home I ran 3.1 miles (a 5K) to the park, then went to the pool for a swim. I don't know how far I swam, I just kept going back a forth until I felt like I didn't have anymore to give.
The pool was a public pool with no lap lanes and a bunch of people. Admittedly I was frustrated because I had to stop every so often to get through traffic. In reality I was glad I had to... I could tell myself things like, "Geez! Can't a guy swim some laps without stopping! Trying to workout here!" But in reality I was thinking, "Oh thank God, I can take a break!"
So running... Check. Swimming... Check. But I haven't mentioned biking up until this point. Simple reason being I didn't have one... So one of the first things we did on this trip was stop at the local bike shop The Sports Den and buy a bike! After test riding several, I found my ride!
So running... Check. Swimming... Check. But I haven't mentioned biking up until this point. Simple reason being I didn't have one... So one of the first things we did on this trip was stop at the local bike shop The Sports Den and buy a bike! After test riding several, I found my ride!
I love riding it! I almost wanted to stop training for the other events and just focus on cycling, but that wouldn't do me any favors come September! Plus I got saddle sore so I had to take a few days off the bike anyways...
The greatest thing is I am now able to actually train for my triathlon! While on vacation, I started thinking about ways I could fit training into my everyday life in ways other than just getting up earlier. Sometimes I have a hard time sleeping and need that extra time in the morning.
So I thought, I could start running/biking to wherever we were planning to drive. Instead of driving to my in-laws house, I could bike the 11 miles, put my bike in the van and drive the family home when the visit was over.
When we went to the pool I thought, I can leave a little early and run the 3 miles to the pool and meet my family there. I thought, I'd like to surprise visit my sister so instead of trying to get the family out from their routine, I'll just bike there and back! It worked perfect and I plan to keep going in that manner here in Kentucky.
Now that I'm back in Kentucky, I'm a bit nervous. Wisconsin spoiled me with its flatness! My mile time dropped and I was afraid to go back home and watch it climb as I climbed the hills! But I know its not a reason to quit.
Seeing your event times fluctuate is a part of the sport. If we quit at each fluctuation, we don't get better, character isn't formed there is no progress. So tomorrow, I'm hitting the road for my first run back home! We'll see how it goes!
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